Big or small, planned, or unplanned, transitions at any age, for anyone, can either be a welcomed surprise or full of anxiety and distress.
Transitions can be imposed on us or proposed by us. Whatever the reason, they are an integral part of life and must be managed appropriately.
Many children, no matter what age, struggle with transitions.
Often, they are common triggers for a range of emotions that coincide with change. They can be difficult at the best of times and what might seem like a trivial ask for you, may be a monumental request for your child.
Have you ever had to ask your child(ren) to wrap it up at the park or to turn off their screens?
What about the transition between the end of the school year and summer vacation or worse yet, the end of summer and back to the routine of school?
If so, you know how hard transitions can be for both you and your child.
For parents, it is important to help offset these behaviours by using tools that will promote and encourage success.
Not only can mindful transitions help the day run smoothly but they also can assist in creating order and less ambiguity for your child.
Children thrive on predictability and routine.
As such when a transition is necessary, wanted or not, it’s best to prepare to help your child move from one phase to the next seamlessly.
Before I had my own kids, I used transition strategies primarily with my students but as time went on and I became a mom of three, I quickly realized that the tricks I had been using in the classroom also worked in the home as well!
Purposeful and intentional work around transitions creates calm. So how can parents help their kids with transitions?
Here are a few tips to help you and yours at any age.
Prepare:
Everyone I know likes advance warning for how long something is going to last.
We also like to have an awareness of when a particular activity will come to an end.
Children are no different. Give your child(ren) as much notice as possible, use timed reminders, if necessary, as to when an activity will start, when it will end, and what they can expect throughout. Knowledge is powerful.
It helps to relieve the ambiguity around the circumstances while also ensuring that everyone has the same understanding of expectations, creating more predictability and calm before, during, and after a transition.
Schedules and Visuals:
Both are important tools when there is an upcoming transition. For children young and old it is helpful to make clear what is coming up and what needs to be done to prepare.
Is your child starting school for the first time?
Try putting the start date on a calendar so the child can count down the days and so you can ensure you have prepared everything necessary to ensure a successful transition.
Does your child struggle with the freedom of summer and settling into the new school year?
Create a schedule the week before school with more structured activities and a set bedtime to help alleviate the “shock” of getting back into a routine OR better yet, try maintaining a little bit of a schedule or predictability with school tasks throughout the two months of break rather than letting the IPAD rear its ugly head for most of the day.
Sensory Breaks:
For many of us, we need a bridge between transitions. Something that creates calm and allows us to settle into the next task.
For some that might mean painting a picture or doing some quiet play in their room; for others it might be necessary to do something physical, like getting outside for a walk, or skipping to the car to head to an appointment to expend their energy.
Maintain Consistency and Follow Through:
Finally, and perhaps most importantly is the need to maintain consistency and follow through with what you have told your child.
Too often parents will ask their child to complete a task (turn off the iPad, empty the dishwasher, read for 30 minutes) and then have difficulty with the follow through.
Try not to veer too far off the path you have laid out for your child and be sure to practice what you preach. Sure, things will come up that are beyond our control.
It happens to the best of us.
As long you are consistent with your expectations, the routines you have laid out, the follow through, and the tools you use to support your child, everyone in your household will be better off for it.
Whatever the transition, if you stick to these four fundamentals, children from two years of age through to their teen years will thrive both in and out of school, during breaks, and most importantly when you least expect it.
Nicole Brayton
B.A., B.Ed., MACP
